Visits, Visits and More Visits

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Visits, Visits and More Visits

Olya came knocking on our bedroom door this morning, telling me to “stand up”! Even at that time in the morning, it was still precious! We were planning on skipping Bible class because it makes a long morning with class and worship in Russian. We got up and got ready for church and sat and visited over coffee for me and Sprite for Lance while we waited for church to start. Church is in the same building as the TLC. The right half is the church and the left half is the TLC. So, we didn’t have far to go for worship. Immediately upon walking in, we were greeted by smiling faces and lots of hugs. People were happy to see us and we were happy to see them. One of the first people to greet us was Dennis. He was the boy we both fell in love with our first December trip to Mariupol. I remember him so much on that trip. He was so funny as he was trying to teach me Russian. Lance was motivated by Dennis and he was the boy that Lance initially moved to Ukraine to be with. Dennis lived at the center some during Lance’s first year. He is now married to Juila Grachova, a beautiful red-head that was one of the first students at the TLC. We were privileged to be at their wedding when we lived in Ukraine. They just recently had a baby so we congratulated Dennis on being a father.

We then went in and joined the worship service and visiting with others afterwards. Bogdan had been planning on coming to church with us and even bringing a friend. However, that morning, there was some sort of quarantined, so he called and said that he couldn’t come. However, we could come visit him in the afternoon. Tanya also called saying she got this information and was not going to be able to bring the girls she normally brings to church either.

After church, we went with Marina and Julia to the apartment that Natasha Serdukova and Marina share. It was a little ways away. We took the bus. Buses are really interesting here, because when you think you can fit anyone else on the bus, about 10 more people manage to squeeze their way in. At one point in time, I just knew I was going to end up on the floor because my arms would barely reach the pole to hang on and a gentleman would not move his legs for me to stand without leaning way over. Luckily, we managed to hang on until our stop when we piled out of the bus. The girls were excited to have us over as their guests in their apartments. It is a nice two room apartment with a large living room, a bedroom they share with one bed, and one pallet on the floor. It then has a bathroom, toilet room, and a nice kitchen. The girls were really proud of it. They apologized for not having more than two chairs and a TV in the living room, and said that they hope to get a couch someday soon. We were just fine without a couch and enjoyed our time there sitting on the floor. Natasha served us borsch and crab salad. She makes a very good borsch. It was nice to see that they treated us with respect and politeness as their guests. They took our coat when we arrived and even helped us put it on as we were leaving. They made sure we were comfortable at the table while eating and that we had a napkin and even bread to go with our meal. I know the apartment is expensive for them to rent, so I hope that they can continue to have enough money to stay there, as they seem so happy there. I remember the feeling of my first apartment and being on my own.

Bogdan had called and said for us to come at 4:00 so we had a little while to wait. So, Natasha decided that we should go for a walk by the sea. So, we took a bus to the sea, walked around and looked at the frozen sea for awhile and took pictures and made our way back to the orphanage. On the way to the orphanage, we were careful not to stand too close to the street, so that we wouldn’t get splashed by cars passing by. The snow had started to melt and it was slushy by now. It was as if we were waling on sno-cones everywhere. Well, a little later down the road, I was waiting to cross the street and looking down for some reason, I think because I was somewhat stuck in snow up to my calves and didn’t notice a car was coming by. So, I got splashed pretty good. My coat was wet and I even had muddy water on my face as well as my jeans. In trying to get the muddy water off my face, another car came by and splashed me again. UGH! At least I wasn’t soaking wet, but my jeans were pretty nasty. Lance and Natasha had a good laugh at my expense over this and so did Bogdan when Lance shared the story with him later.

We got to the orphanage and the kids went looking for Bogdan. He was outside playing soccer, of course! When he came in, he gave me one of the biggest hugs I’ve ever gotten from him. I even let go a little before he did, and noticing that he was still hugging me, I hugged him some more and relished every minute of it.

His teacher invited us into the music room and some of his classmates gave us a concert. Bogdan didn’t play but sat by us on the couch. The first time I came to Mariupol on a Christmas trip, these kids played a concert for us. I remember being so impressed and telling the teacher that he was a great teacher for these kids and teaching them some great skills through music. He does have a passion for music and a heart for these kids. I have since seen a concert by them many times now and love each and every one of them. I’ve gone back and looked at pictures and video and Bogdan was not at the first concert, but has been in all the ones since then. Who knew at that time, that I might one day come to love one of those kids as my own child. It was somewhat funny to watch some of the kids. They are so much more mature and grown up now than the first time I saw them play. If I had all my old pictures here, I could share them with you, but they are at home on my external drive. The guy that plays drums, looks exactly the same, just a lot taller and older. He played the drums perfectly, but with the same blank stare on his face as he had the first time I saw them. He has probably played those same songs a million times since then. I told the teacher they did a great job, but he was not so pleased with their performance. One little boy with a solo on a recorder had a hard time keeping his place and playing so I know the teacher was not too pleased. I however, enjoyed the concert nonetheless.

After the concert, Natasha left and it was just Bogdan, Lance and me in the room. I told him I was sorry I didn’t make it yesterday and he said he understood and it was no problem. We talked about what they did the day before and how the pictures were so funny to me. We talked about a lot of funny things and he called me, “crazy Debra” like he so often does. Eventually, I relented and agreed I was crazy, but that he was also crazy and he agreed that he was. We had a good laugh. I told him I love his laugh and missed hearing it. So, I kept saying things that would make him laugh so I could hear it over and over.

We did talk a little about adoption and asked him if he had thought it over. He said he had and that yes, he wanted us to try again and he understood there was a very small chance we could. So, we told him we would do everything in our power to try and adopt him again. Lance has already sent an email to Natasha, our facilitator, letting her know our plans and asking if she can help get the paperwork going in Ukraine. We are planning on discussing this with her when we see her in Kiev. I told him that it will be hard, but we will do what we can. Since this includes another $20,000 or more, we have a lot to do. Lance and I have been discussing whether or not I should return to the classroom or get some other full-time job. I really don’t want to because I love teaching at Richland College and the retirement center so much. But, if we have to come up with that kind of money again, I will have to find a full-time job which may mean going back to public schools. Anyway, we made a promise to him to try, so we have to whatever it takes whether we like it or not. We told him that we would still be family, with our without the papers no matter what. We believe with all our heart that not adopting Bogdan at this time was God’s plan. We have been given what we prayed for, kids that need us and the kids we need. We have been given two great healthy young boys that need a family and a father figure very badly. Perhaps it will be in God’s will to adopt Bogdan at a later time. We know that if we would have been able to adopt Bogdan this time, that we would not have met nor been able to adopt our boys. To adopt from separate orphanages, you have to do separate adoptions. So, we know without a doubt that God’s plan is at work here and that He has a plan for Bogdan too, we just don’t yet know what that is. Perhaps this happened to let Bogdan see just how much we love him and will do for him. Perhaps it happened so that he could know just how badly he wanted to come to America. Perhaps we will be able to adopt him in the future, perhaps not. Perhaps this happened so that we could explain and Bogdan could see that God is at work in our lives and as long as we trust in Him that God will take care of our needs. Perhaps, as many of you have said, Bogdan is supposed to stay in Ukraine and carry on the work Lance started with him with other orphans. Who knows.

I asked Bogdan if we were to adopt him, would it be ok that he had two new younger brothers. He said, “Of course”. I also asked if it was ok if he had a sister too? He just gave me a crazy look and said, “If you get a girl, then I get a dog. A big dog!” Lance told him that I have a fear of becoming like Tim the Tool Man Taylor’s house on Home Improvement. He laughed at that. He totally understood, because he and I would watch that show when he was in the US. He would laugh so hard at Tim. The last night he was at our house, he laid in our bed with us and we watch a fun episode and laughed so hard that we woke Lance up! Good times. I was so amazed then that a 14 year old would lay in bed with us and snuggle up to us because he was going to miss us when he left.

Lance asked him if it was ok for him to hug him a lot and for him to give him a kiss. He said of course it was. So, we go to hug him a lot and give him kisses on his cheek. A 15 year old letting us hug and kiss him and returning the hugs so genuinely, now that is amazing!

I asked him what his girlfriend thought of him moving to America and he just shrugged his shoulders with a smirk on his face. He had already told us early in our conversation that he was not planning on getting married until he was 30 years old! And then he also said that we would be the grand-parents to his children no matter what happened with the adoption. After getting back to Zaporozhye and checking an adoption blog of some friends of ours, we learned that they are planning on going back to adopt one more time. They currently have 8 children, four of which have been adopted from Ukraine and Russia and two of them form the orphanage in Mariupol where Bogdan lives. The girl they are planning on adopting, just happens to be Karina, Bogdan’s girlfriend. No wonder he had that smirk on his face. The Bobbinger’s blog says that they got a letter a few months back that just broke their hearts and they have to adopt one more time. I am curious to find out if that was about the same time that we got the letter from Bogdan saying that in America he could become a “real man” and that he changed his mind and definitely wants to be adopted. Hmmmm.

We said good-bye to Bogdan for now, but now forever. He hugged me so hard and told me, “I Love You” in English. We said that we were all going to keep in touch and Bogdan said he would call while we were in still in country. It was hard saying good-bye and watching him and Lance hug so hard. I had to have several hugs before I could leave and each one was returned with a firm grasp by Bogdan. Walking down the stairs, the tears just began streaming down my face and I didn’t even try to hold them back this time. The hallways at this orphanage were very dark, unlike the orphanage where our boys are. The orphanage in Mariupol has always seemed very dark and dreary.

It was a cold lonely walk for us back to the orphanage in the dark. Our thoughts and conversations were on how in the world could we make this happen.

When we got back to the orphanage, Natasha M (blondinka, as I like to call her) was helping Yana fix her hair and get all beautiful. I’m not sure why Natasha was all fixed up and helping Yana do the same, because it was close to dinner and they weren’t going anywhere else for the evening. I guess they just wanted to be beautiful. Once Natasha finished fixing Yana’s hair, she called Julia and Dennis, the new parents I mentioned earlier to see if we could come for a visit. They said they would love to have us over and we got permission for Natasha to take us there.

They live in an apartment that former missionaries lived in and that at one time we thought about purchasing. It was a not a really long walk, but it was cold out and for lazy Americans that aren’t used to walking everywhere anymore, it was a journey. Of course, I was in back of Natasha and Lance the whole time, because I can’t walk at a Ukrainian pace like they can. I don’t know how they walk so fast, I guess all the practice they get. ;-)

We got to the apartment and met the cutest little baby boy, Pasha. He looks just like Dennis with chubby cheeks. Julia looked good as well. We got to visit for quite awhile. They shared pictures of the baby and their homecoming. They also showed us a video that Sasha the preacher had made for them with pictures of the pregnancy, the time at the hospital, the homecoming etc. The video included video of them learning how to bathe the baby and giving him his first bath. It was great to see how the two of them worked so hard together to take good care of baby Pasha. What a treat to see children that Lance had “parented” at the center, grow up to be loving, caring and wonderful parents. It is great to see that they are now a Christian family that will stay together and not leave their child for an orphanage to raise!

They were having so much fun showing us pictures that they even showed us pictures they had of when they were young. I think it started out because Dennis wanted to show us just how much Pasha looked like his baby pictures. It is true, he does, chubby little cheeks and all. It was neat to see some of their family pictures that they were able to get a hold of. A lot of orphan children don’t have a lot of photos of when they were younger unless someone in their family is able to save them for them. Some of the pictures were taken during soviet times and were very telling to look at. It was a great evening with wonderful people.

After a pretty long visit, we needed to get back to the center to get Natasha home and so we could eat. We walked by the store so that Lance could get some money from the ATM and also put some money on his phone. So from there, Natasha and I walked home arm in arm and enjoyed a little visit of our own. She will graduate this year, so she was telling me what she wanted to do after living in the center. More than likely, she will go to Donetsk as she has family there.

Once back at the center, we ate. The kids had saved us each a plate of ploff (sp). It is a rice dish with chicken and a few carrots. It was really good and I normally don’t care much for ploff. I had planned on helping Alexandra finish the quilt she was making for Julia’s birthday sometime today, but didn’t realize that we would be gone the whole day. She had gotten a lot of work done on it today, so she didn’t need at much help. She was exhausted, you could tell by looking at her and we were pretty tired too. So, we decided I could help her finish it in the morning before we left as only the edging was still left to do. She had a headache and her shoulders ache. I know that feeling of sewing all day to finish a quilt! So, I offered to give her a massage, eventually she relented and I was able to loosen her shoulders up a little bit and help ease her headache. She has a lot of work to do with 11 kids in the center and only two days off a week. It is a lot for parents to do, but even more so for only one adult alone. Of course, Tanya is still there to help run the house, but Alexandra is the house parent and on duty 24/7 while she is there.

Lance and I were happy to spend time at the center, but didn’t miss all the work. Lance especially didn’t miss the “ding dong” of the doorbell every time a child came home. They have done some remodeling and the place looks really good. It was also good to see the ladies from the church working so hard with Tanya to take care of the kids. It has more of a Ukrainian feel to it than when we Americans were the house parents. It is a mission that needs to be operated by the local Christians, so we were happy to see that it was going well.