Now, This Feels Like Home

Saturday, January 30, 2010

My headache from all the stress and worry was gone when I awoke this morning, thankfully. Today was going to be a busy day, we already knew that, and it proved to be so.

The morning time was spent visiting with the kids at the center and those that came by for a visit. We got to spend a lot of time with Olya today. She came by and brought her new computer she just got for me to help her with. We put pictures on that I had on Lance’s computer (since mine wants to work only when it wants to) and those that we had taken together on this trip. She was so excited to get these pictures. She immediately placed one on the desktop of us with some of the girls. We tried to help her sign in to her email that I helped her set up the last time I was there, but didn’t have much luck, so we decided to set her up a new one later on. It was nice having the wireless internet card that we are using of Hasan’s because we got on the Internet several times to show kids how we can keep in contact with each other. We also showed them how they can write us a message in Russian and we can use Google Translate to translate the message into English. We could be a walking advertisement for Google Translate and even Google Earth since we have shared those tools many times on this trip. The kids were excited when we would show them the translate tool because that meant that we could keep in contact better. This was a good trip with “our kids” from the center because I think they realized that we have been back as much as possible since we left the center and that we have not forgotten them and never will.

Today was Julia’s birthday so there was a lot of excitement in the house. The girls love to have any excuse to get all dressed up. So, they were in and out of Julia’s room all morning getting all dressed up to go out walking that afternoon. They love to go out walking. Julia turned 18 today. She was just 15 when she moved into the center when we were there. She was the youngest teen in the house. My how she has grown and matured. She and Borya (one of the boys that lived at the TLC when we were there) have been boyfriend and girlfriend for almost two years now. It is nice to see how Borya has also matured and what a good boyfriend he is to Julia.

I was looking forward to the afternoon very much. Today, my very first and very dear friend Dima, known to everyone as Little Dima was coming for a visit. I had not seen him in over 5 years. We had worked at several camps together as he was often my translator when I would go read stories and play with various camp groups at night. We pretty much did everything together while at these camps. The first time I met him was my first trip to Ukraine and we became friends right away. He was so funny and we laughed so much together. He had such a love for children and a lot of energy (which I used to have) that we were always meeting new kids at the camps or in the neighborhood we stayed at. Our evenings were spent laughing, eating ice cream and the many sweets that he enjoyed from America that we would bring him.

One year he was helping locate translators for our camp. It was the first year I brought a team from California over. All of a sudden, right before camp started, he emailed me to tell me that he couldn’t finish locating translators and that he wouldn’t be at the camp that summer, because he was joining a monastery. Yes, you heard that correctly. I was so shocked that I was not going to get to see him that summer, that we still had to locate translators and that he was going to leave his wife and join a monastery. I was not able to get in touch with him much that summer and was a little lost without my Little Dima to her me communicate with all the kids that year. Long story a little bit shorter, Dima did decide to stay at the monastery, but we have had some contact over the last five years. Every once in awhile he would be able to have access to email and write, or once or twice a year, we would be able to call each other. He would always text me to call him when he had access to his phone. I recall one time at Jimmy’s (my brother’s) getting a text to call him and I didn’t have my Ukrainian phone card with me and no way to call directly from my cell. So, I used my brother’s phone and ended up spending $140 on that phone call to him. Another time, I ended up spending about $50 on our home phone to talk to him for just a few minutes. He has been a good friend and it was so hard to have him just drop off the face of the earth that summer. I’m glad that we are now able to keep in better contact. He had emailed me some in December when we were here and just a few days ago emailed me to see if I was still in country because he was leaving the monastery for a few days to go help his mother out in Donetsk which is close to Mariupol. So, we had made plans for him to come see me in Mariupol while we were there.

He, his brother and another gentleman from the monastery took the bus from Donetsk to Mariupol today to come spend a few hours with me. The bus ride is two hours one way and he only got to stay a few hours at the TLC. I know it was a sacrifice for them to come for a short visit, but it was worth for us to get to see each other.

They got to the center about 1:30 or 2:00 and were hungry. All the TLC kids had eaten, so Alexandra said we could have some of the soup that was left from lunch. So, the three of them and Lance and I sat down for some lunch. We visited a little over lunch and then the two that were with him joined the TLC kids in the living room watching TV. Lance stayed for a while and visited too, but needed to go see Bogdan as we told him we would come visit after 2:00. I was torn because I wanted to go see Bogdan too, but had not seen Little Dima for over 5 years. I knew that Dima wasn’t going to be able to stay too long, so I told Lance I would come to the orphanage after Dima left. He told me he would explain to Bogdan why I couldn’t come and that Bogdan would understand and he would see me there later.

Then, it was just Dima and I visiting. We had a very good visit. I told him that I was his true friend and was going to be honest with him and that I knew that we could say anything to each other and it would be ok because we were that good of friends. I told him that I didn’t understand why he left his wife, the Church and joined the monastery. I assured him though, that I would still be his friend even though I didn’t understand why he did what he did. We talked in detail about a lot of his reasoning’s and some if really personal that I will leave out here since it was a conversation to only be shared between the two of us and not to be posted for the world to see on the Internet. I know the whole world is not reading this blog, but several people who know Little Dima are.

The first time I met Dima we took a trip to a monastery one day and he told me how the thought of living in a monastery was appealing to him. I never thought that he would actually live in one though. He explained that there are two kinds of monasteries, one being mission oriented where they go out and work with people and kids and one being a contemplative monastery where they mostly stay at the monastery and devote the majority of their day praying. Dima had wanted to go to the mission monastery but said that God seemed to be closing all the doors to this type of monastery and he ended up at a contemplative one instead. I told him that I had a hard time with the thought of being at a monastery all his life and not getting out and helping people. He said he could understand that. That he knows how hard it is to be out in the world helping people, so at his monastery, they devote the majority of their time to praying for those that are out in the world helping others. He said they need a lot of prayer to be able to do what they do, to do the camps and mission work with orphans like we do, and that we don’t always have the time to pray for strength, so they do the praying for us. In some ways that made sense to me the way he explained it. But, I do believe that God calls us to come down off the mountain top and help others in the world around us. Of course, I also know that God would want me to spend more time in prayer and in worship of Him than I do.

The monastery that he is in is a Catholic one. I always thought it was a Ukrainian Orthodox Monsatery. He said that Orthodox monasteries are more strict and that if he had joined one of those that he would not even be allowed to talk to me. We had a long visit and relived a lot of good memories, from drinking coffee with sweetened condensed milk in it, to breaking chairs from laughing so hard, to jokes we had about saluting flags. It was great to relive these memories and laugh about our good times.

Everyone once in awhile, the kids or Alexandra would come through and sit and visit for awhile. It was interesting to watch how they would just open up and talk so freely to Dima. Natasha remembered Dima from a camp in Mariupol several years back and he remembered her, so they too shared some memories.

I was such a good time to actually see and be able to visit with and hug Little Dima. The time passed by so quickly and before we knew it, it was after 5:00 and they needed to get back to the bus station to go back to Donetsk. I walked them to the bus stop and said good-bye again. It was hard to say good-bye to Dima because who knows when and if I’ll get to see him again. However, we will always have each other in our hearts and one day will see each other again in Heaven. Dima actually gave me a hug when the bus got there, which surprised me. He was in his Monk clothes and I didn’t think that he would hug me in public dressed that way, but he did. I was glad to be able to hug him and let him know just how much I still loved him and that we would always be friends. It was weird watching the door on the bus close and Dima showing me the sign language “I Love You” that we always taught the kids at camp. Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again in Ukraine, if not here, then in Heaven.

Right before Dima left, I called Lance to let him know I was going to come up to the orphanage. He said that by the time I got there that the kids would be going to dinner and that he would be on his way home. So, I decided to stay at the center and help Alexandra cook. I did talk to Bogdan on the phone and explained why I didn’t come up there and he said he understood. I told him I would see him on Sunday and that I loved him. He said he loved me too and would see me tomorrow.

Lance is busy and told me I could write about his time with Bogdan. He is not much of a writer anyway and would probably leave out the good stuff. He would more than likely say, “We had a great day!” and that would be about it. So, I will try and recapture his time with Bogdan that afternoon as he told it to me. Bogdan was excited to see him and gave him a big hug when he got there. They visited all afternoon, but nothing was said about the adoption, therefore there was no tension in the room. Lance took his computer and shared with Bogdan the pictures of our house that we had for our court hearing. He showed him the wall with all our family pictures on it and explained that there were no friends there, just family. He zoomed in on the photo to show that Bogdan’s picture was there on the wall and that he would always be family, no matter if we had a paper saying so or not. He also showed the pictures of him of him on the fridge and the front dining room that is our “mission room” where pictures of mission trips hang. One whole wall is Ukraine photos and memorabilia and of course, his pictures are there as well. Bogdan seemed real pleased with the fact that we see him all around our house. In fact, in the discussion the day before, Lance told him that his photo from the summer at our house was on his night stand and that it was the first thing he saw when he went to bed and the first thing he saw when he woke up in the mornings. I think this trip really solidified in Bogdan’s mind just how much we love him and how much we truly want to help him.

Some of Bogdan’s friends came in and they played with the web cam on the computer and the special effects in PhotoBooth to take some crazy pictures. They laughed and had a great time. Lance shared some of the photos with me later in the evening and I laughed so hard I broke out in a coughing fit. That web cam sure does make for some fun entertainment!

By this time, it was almost dinner-time so Lance needed to leave. He gave Lance a phone number where he could reach him and said he planned on talking to us while we in country as much as possible. On Lance’s walk back to the center, he slipped on the ice and fell four times. Luckily, he didn’t hurt himself or the computer he was carrying in his backpack. We sure don’t need two broken computers over here!

When I arrived back at the center, I helped Alexandra and a few kids prepare Julia’s birthday dinner. Birthday dinners were and still are a big deal to the kids. They usually get to choose what they have for their special dinner. However, since we left, the kids are more involved in the prep of the meal and cake. On Friday evening, Julia, Borya and his brother Maxim (who is one of the new kids at the center) made her birthday cake, a napoleon. It is a hard cake to make, but it sure is good. It is one of the only Ukrainian cakes that I like. This morning, Julia was in the kitchen making up several salads for dinner. So, a lot of the work was already done, but a lot of the work was still left to do.

Alexandra makes the best Brizolli and the kids all love it. So, that is the meal entrée they all have on their birthday now. I helped Alexandra and kids make this. We started at 5:30 and didn’t sit down to dinner until almost 8:00. It does time a lot more time to prepare dinner here, especially when cooking for so many people. I think there were about 20 people for dinner. Anyway, Brizolli is a meat cutletta that is thin and fried with an egg in a pan. Then rolled inside of it is a mixture of sautéed onions, mushrooms and cabbage. It is then baked in the oven and is to die for delicious. There were also several salads, small sandwiches and the biggest dish of mashed potatoes I’ve ever seen. After dinner, there was not a drop of any of it left! Then the cake was brought out and shared. It was so good, but I was so full I couldn’t finish the large slice they gave me.

Julia then opened some of her presents. Tanya and the center gave her a box of pots and pans. Now, when she leaves the center this summer, she will already have some of the practical things she needs. We gave her a card and some money, which she was very happy to get. She also got lots of jewelry, another cake, candy and a beautiful wallet from friends. She was beaming from ear to ear as she showed us all of her presents. She is such a sweet girl.

I went back in her room to help her put it all away and we talked a little about when I was there. She recalled the time that her arm got burned really badly and how I cried with her and helped her until we could get her to the doctor. It was Thanksgiving one year and she ran out of the door of her bedroom right into a boiling hot pan of something (I don’t recall what) that spilled all over her. She had pretty bad burns all over her arm. She showed me her arm and that there are no scars at all now. We were glad about that. She again told me thank you for holding her and helping her when it happened.

The rest of the evening was spent showing the kids Google Earth and finding where we lived, where the center was, where they worked and went to school and other fun places on the map. I also helped Olya set up her new email account. She always called me Debs when I was there, so she wanted her user name to be “DebsOlya”. How precious. Even now as I write this, she has already emailed me twice. I’m so glad we will be able to keep in touch better.

Olya had gotten permission to spend the night and we were planning on having a slumber party in the front room like on my last night in the center before we moved back to the US, but we were all so tired from the many events of the day that we gave up the idea of staying up late. She slept in the girl’s room, but at least we got to spend the evening together.

What a long, but very rewarding day!