We Should Have Known!

We were up early, even before Tanya got here from the train station. We were too excited to sleep and ready for the day we get our boys! Well, we should have known! Not long after Tanya got here, our excitement turned to disappointment or well, should I say frustration. I almost titled this blog entry, "It's only dingy!" Dingy is Russian for money. As is customary, we knew that most couples adopting leave a gift for the orphanage. When we first talked to the director, she stated that a nice gift would be dishes for the kitchen that a church group built the past summer. They planned to use the new kitchen to teach the kids how to cook, but needed some supplies. Ok, so we were prepared to buy what she asked for, pots and pans and other cooking utensils and supplies. Since we weren't real sure where the best place would be to purchase these things and exactly what we should purchase, we were waiting on Tanya to help us with this. Well, one of the first things she asked us was if we had the donation ready. We mentioned we thought we were to buy kitchen stuff and were waiting for her. She said, well it is customary for couples to leave a donation and that $1,000 was what we should be prepared to leave! WHAT??? One thousand dollars? You’ve got to be kidding me! We don't have an extra $1,000 and will more than likely have to borrow more money from Lance's parents to feed the boys when we get home! She had said $500 was the minimum anyone ever leaves, but to decide what we think we could afford. Well, we couldn't even afford the $500 but took that with us and planned on giving them that. Of course, we would love to get them more, much more, but we just don’t have it. Later in the car, she asked us what we were planning on giving. She said that we should at least leave them $750 since we were adopting two kids! It's only dingy, right? Only money, time, paperwork, more money, time, paperwork and more money, time and paperwork! We're Americans right? We all have lots of each of these things, especially money! Don't we wish!

We left at 8:45 to head for the court building. We went in with Tanya and a few minutes later, she said she was looking over the documents and didn't need us so we could wait in the car since it was cold in the court building. She finally came out at 10:00 and we were so excited. But, she didn't have the court decree. She said the secretary was working on binding them. Here, they bind them with string, then place the ends of the string on the back, cover it with a label and then stamp the label. So, if it is tampered with, they know that it is not an original official document. Well, it takes some time to sew them all together, so she suggested we go buy the Judge some flowers. Ok, so off to the flower store we go. We got back at 10:30 and went in to present her with the flowers. After waiting for a little while, we got to go in and see her. We were told to tell her that we were very grateful that she made us parents today. Well, we are extremely grateful, but we know that God is the one making us parents! We did tell her we were thankful for making our dreams of being a parent come true. She told us to raise their kids to be educated, sophisticated and good citizens. We assured her that we would do our best. We gave her the flowers and she said that as a judge that she can't accept those, because that would be corruption. But, as a woman, she could accept those because everyone knows that women like flowers. I did like the judge and the fact that she tried really hard to go by the rules and be honest in all she did. We then went back and waited in the car for the papers to be finished.

We were getting excited and I was getting silly in the car. I sang for Lance and Hasan a part of the Russian music video I saw the other night while cooking dinner. "Gavarilla, Mamma, Gavarilla, Gavarilla, Mamma Gavarilla!" The song basically was singing about Momma said. Momma said something about not falling in love with everybody, but all that stuck in my mind was the above. And boy does it stick in your mind and is hard to get out. Be glad you can’t hear me singing it in this blog!

At 11:25, Tanya came out and we saw papers in her hand. So, I was cheering and all excited. She said she only got three copies. We needed 12 more so they were working on those and we would come back later to pick them up. Boy, they sure could use a Kinkos here!

The boys texted us to call them at around 11:45. We did and they told us they were at Grand-ma's and wanted to make sure we had their new number. In the next five minutes we sent several text messages back and forth and talked to the boys twice and Grand-ma once. We told her we still didn't know the plan, but would keep her posted. The boys weren't supposed to go to Grand-ma's today, but we were glad that at least they didn't have to spend the night at the orphanage if we didn't get all the paperwork done to pick them up.

We arrived at the District Registration Office to get the court decree checked for accuracy. Well, it was around 12:00 and everyone in the office was leaving at 12:30 to attend the funeral of one of their coworkers. They said they couldn't read and verify the 8 pages in 30 minutes so we would have to wait. I understand that funerals can't be helped or planned for, but 30 minutes should be enough time to read 8 pages I think. UGH!

We then headed to the Regional Registration Office to see if they could verify the papers. Since it was lunchtime, they would not be back until 1:00, so we decided to stop and get some lunch ourselves. Hasan and Tanya ordered soup and the daily special so it didn't take them long to get their food or eat. They were finished before we got our food, so they decided to leave us there while they went to the Regional Office to be there when they opened at 1:00. Lance and I enjoyed our lunch and got to vent about our frustrations of the day to each other. It was nice to get some of the frustration off our shoulders.

They didn't have any luck at that office and so we headed to the Local Ministry of Justice Office to see if we could find help there. The Main Ministry of Justice people were out of the office because of the elections that are going to be redone on Sunday. They already had elections, but a candidate didn't capture a majority of the votes so there are re-elections on Sunday. This changes a lot around here. Tanya came out of that office and immediately lit up a cigarette. We knew she smoked, but she had never smoked around us. She rolled down the window, so it was cold and the smoke was blowing back on us. We didn't say a word about it. I did say, when she first got in, "Oh, it must not be good news if she is smoking." Hasan laughed and agreed with me. At this point, a few more minutes of second hand smoke was nothing compared to the amount we had already absorbed here in Ukraine.

Basically, we found out later from Hasan that the people in that office said they would not touch those papers as it was the Regional Ministry of Justice's job and not theirs. Tanya was worried that one of the paragraphs was written in a way that it would not pass at the Registration Office and the whole document would need to be re-worded and wanted someone to clarify if that was true or not. The paragraph mentioned both names of the boys side by side, then their birthday listed once and then their passport numbers right next to each other. Nowhere, did it mention that they were twins. Tanya thought the paragraph should list one at a time with their own birthdays and passport numbers listed separately. To me, I think it should be ok. I would think they would figure it out that they were twins. But, of course, none of this mess is up to me and everything in the paperwork has to be done a certain way according to whoever is reading it at the time. The trees they kill here in this country to make paper must be of an astronomical amount!

So, we went back to the court to see if the judge would change it. The court, of course, is all the way back on the other side of town, again. Surprise, surprise! By the time we got there at 2:45, the judge had gone home for the day. UGH! Tanya did however, get the other 12 copies of the document and, if it is ok, then we at least have all the copies we need.

We stopped by the passport office to at least get the paperwork started for the passport. Well, wouldn't you know it? They were closed already. They weren't supposed to be, but they were! What a day! We finally gave up and headed home.

Tanya said that the Registration Office would be working tomorrow so we can at least get that part of the paperwork done. I don't think the place where we can get the new birth certificates will be open, but at least we can do something tomorrow. Then, because of the election, the courts are open on Sunday. Don't ask me why, I have no idea! Things work very differently around here. So, if the paperwork is not approved tomorrow, then at least on Sunday we can go back to the court and spend all day there again getting them changed and re-sewn together.

We got home around 3:15. Tanya and Hasan ran to the store. We were glad because this gave us another much needed time to vent. Tanya was in the court building a whole hour this morning and we thought she was proofing the document for mistakes before it was printed and finalized. Why was it not until later that she found the paragraph that she didn't like the way it was written? It has been such a frustrating day. In the car several times we heard Tanya say that she didn't want to be here. That she wanted to wait to come until Monday, but Nina insisted she come today. Well, at least we were able to get something done today and hopefully Saturday and Sunday as well. If she had waited until Monday to come, that would have put us three days later getting started and much longer that the boys would have to stay in the orphanage. They want out and we want them out. Hasan mentioned once today that we had waited so long that what was a few more days? Exactly, we have been waiting for a long time and have spent two months already in this country (well, almost) and are ready to get out of here! It has been two months and two days since we first met the boys. That is long enough to wait and do paperwork! It is not like when we lived here. We are not in the town familiar to us with friends we know, and we have to pay well over $100 a day to be here. Whereas, in Mariupol, we would have had to pay $5 each a day to stay at the church apartment, and no taxi fees every day. Speaking of taxi fees, Hasan charged $80 today for all the driving around. He said he wouldn’t charge for his time today, just the driving. Well, yes, we did a lot of driving, but not $80 worth! It’s only dingy, right? Plus, back to the time discussion. If they were your kids you were waiting so long for, wouldn't you want to get them out of the orphanage and with you the very first minute that you could?

We are not going to be able to see the boys today, but will call them later and explain why. Praise God (Slava Bogu!) they are at Babushka's and don't have to stay at the orphanage tonight.

I've already changed into sweats and wanted to post this update right away. As I was writing this, Lance became really sick to his stomach. I think he is nauseated from all the stress of today. He is now resting on the couch. We got to bed late last night and it has been a long and very stressful day. Sleep will do us both some good.

My plan is to take something for my headache, maybe something for anti-anxiety, eat an ice cream bar and hopefully fall asleep. The sooner this day is over with, the better.